As part of ITV’s Big Reunion, lots of bands from the early 00s (when pop was at a heady height, in my humble hopinion) have reunited to play some shows here in the uk. These bands include B*Witched, who have a lot of feelings – Atomic Kitten, Blue and… Five!
(l-r Scott, Ritchie, J, Abz Love, Sean)
(I didn’t even have to Google their names just now, srsly)
1. THEY HAVE A STUPID/ SUBVERSIVE NAME*
Let’s face it, Five is a stupid name for a band. Even in a world where bad band names are everywhere, this one really sucks. Even if you spell it like 5ive (Which makes me think of the word sieve – anyone else want to make cookies?) But here’s the thing – J decided not to join the rest of the band for the reunion. Which, yes, means there the band is called Five, but there are only four members. This is subverting the dominant paradigm in the world of boy band pop. Sheer genius. I love it.
2. RITCHIE IS A GREAT POP STAR
When you first look at Five, you immediately see that Rich is the pretty one, With his baby blue eyes, blonde hair and cheurbuc face, you think he’d have little substance. But you would of course be wrong. When Ritchie was dating Bille Piper back in the 00s, he used to go out wearing make-up like, so what? No big. I loved that about him. Plus now he’s just arrived back from Australia where he has been living for a long time. His accent is now a bizarre amalgamation of Brummie meets Aussie, and I’ve never heard anything like it.
3. NO BORING BALLADS
Five were too busy making fun music with Queen to record any boring mushy songs. I much prefer boy bands when they make songs I can dance to (I hated that song ‘Little Things’ by 1D, they are so much better when they are having fun!) and Five had so many upbeat songs. Songs which are pure joy!Their hit single ‘Keep on Movin’ is so happiness inducing, that if you don’t like it, then you have no heart!**
How early 00s is that video? Wow.***
Another firm favourite is their song ‘Slam Dunk (Da Funk)’ which we all love to sing along to. Despite, or should I say due to, the nonsensical lyrics.
Plus, the brilliant Everybody Get Up! (Except for the video which involves Five disrupting an exam. That would annoy me so much if I was prepared to sit an exam that day. At least wait till the end of the exam to play the gig! Yes I remain a NERD 4LYFE.)
4. THEIR ROMANIC TUNES SOUND LIKE THIS
This song is ALL ABOUT SEX but in a totally cute, non scary way. It’s not a love song. It’s cheeky. It’s playful and kind of quirky. I love it!
5. THEY KEEP IT REAL
Watching them on ITV’S Big Reunion is great because they bicker and fight and swear constantly and they all love each other so much. They are like brothers. They talk about their mental breakdowns and dalliances with drugs with refreshing candour. There is, and always has been, I think, something remarkably unpolished about Five. And since they’re a boyband who were put together by pop maverick Simon Cowell, this is really something! I hope they do well out of the reunion. I think they’re really lovely genuine guys. I want to hug them all. Especially Sean, bless his heart.
Why not watch them on the Big Reunion, on the link below, if only for Ritchie and Abz Love’s amazing accents.
* Depending on your pov.
**Then again, if you had no heart, you wouldn’t be able to read this.
***The song actually came out in 1999, which means Five were even more before their time than previously concieved.